Thursday, September 7, 2017

Ode to Sarah

I didn't come here with a plan for what to write about. I asked some friends if they had any suggestions...Sarah said to write an "Ode to Sarah." I'm not sure what adventure she had in mind when she suggested it, but she is unavailable for follow up at this time. When I think about it on my own the image of a little mouse named Sarah comes to mind, and she goes on adventures around the house. I may try to write a poem/story about that later, who knows. 

Now let’s switch gears and talk about anxiety! 

I had an interesting experience at work today, I say that because this particular thing has never happened before. I was in an office doing work and someone behind me was using a tape gun to tape packages shut to be shipped. For some odd reason, the noise alone made me extremely nervous and uncomfortable. I even offered to help them with what they were doing simply to get the noise out of the room as quickly as possible so I could continue work in a more comfortable environment. 


It comes in all forms, noises in particular have never caused a problem for me in the past. But this does come as a sobering reminder of something that is constantly in the background, following me like some kind of weird ghost that chooses when it wants to rear its ugly head and be known. Always try and be mindful of the people around you, you have no way of knowing what ghosts are haunting them.

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

See you tomorrow

I will be moving blog night to Thursdays. There is really no other reason than I feel like moving it to Thursdays 😁.

Thursday, August 31, 2017

So Sleepy

I was extremely tired last night, and I am extremely tired tonight (shout out to my cat for waking up at 4am every day and demanding food). Therefore I do not have a fabulous post planned. I did want to make sure I put something up here to help get myself in the habit of doing so.
With that, I hope everyone is having a wonderful week!

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Words on a Wednesday

Not sure what I should write about today, I am a bit burnt out. School has been keeping me super busy, I have filled out my giant desk calendar with all of the important dates. It is full (of fun?) but it is always neat to look back at everything and see how much I have managed to get done.

I have been filling the time playing Stardew Valley for funzies. I have also been learning to mod that, super cool to see it all come together when I do it correctly. Because of the way the game was made I can easily go in and adjust the art on my own or use adjustments other people have made. Check out my horse:
(http://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/290/?  I found a link to the mod for anyone who plays)
(Skyrim in Stardew, whaaaaat) The author did an amazing job making Arvak in to a cute little sprite. I have been cobbling together different works that people have made to come up with my own listings and such, as I learn more and get everything together I am excited to change everything I can in the game just for the sake of doing it.

LETS SEEEE
I have started looking at laptops for school, that has been quite a journey. I am at the point where I am ready to be done with it and purchase one, but I also don't want to give away my money. It is a tool that I could really stand to have, but having money is also great.

I'm not really sure how to end this clearly exciting post, so I will leave you with this. My friend told me today about imagining the cast of the Lord of the Rings movies as Kiwi birds instead of people. Now that is all I can think about.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

For Jodee

Welp, I completely forgot to post all summer. So that is exciting. I have asked a couple of my friends to remind me this is here and to get back into the habit of using it for fun and practice.
I don't have much to say, summer was relaxing and this blog will be filled with whatever I feel like putting in it.
Please find the attached pictures well and enjoy them.


Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Titles are for people who have their lives together.

I realized that it had been some time since my last blog post, so I decided to do a quick update to prove I'm still around.

I recently went on vacation and had a wonderful time in Washington, however, on the plane ride home someone infected me with their cold and subsequently an ear infection. So that was super fun. Because of it I have spent a lot of time in bed this last week and not much working on anything else.

I do have a new idea for an installment of my Kitty series. Unfortunately, I have not put anything together in Photoshop but I will leave you with this rendition my friend did using MS Paint. A true masterpiece.


Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Now please enjoy some photos of my cat.



The Skeleton in My Closet


The Skeleton in My Closet



There is a skeleton in my closet.

It hangs among my clothes.

I’ve hidden it there

So no one can see,

Because no one needs to know.

But every so often,

I reach through my sweaters,

And brush its chilly bones.

Mirror


Mirror



In my closet is a mirror.

And in that mirror,

Lives a monster.

I have never seen it,

But I can feel it peeking out,

From the crack in the doors.

Every night it watches me,

With glowing eyes.

I try to catch,

A glimpse of it,

But it always escapes,

Back behind the mirror.

And all that stares back,

Is me.

Tremble


Tremble



As I sit and tremble they tell me,

It’s all in your head.



As I sit and tremble they tell me,

It’s all in your head.

Just be happier.



As I sit and tremble they tell me,

It’s all in your head.

Just be happier.

Take a deep breath, it will clear your mind.



As I sit and tremble they tell me,

It’s all in your head.

Just be happier.

Take a deep breath, it will clear your mind.

Try not thinking about it so much.



As I sit and tremble they tell me,

It’s all in your head.

Just be happier.

Take a deep breath, it will clear your mind.

Try not thinking about it so much.

You’re acting up over nothing.



As I sit and tremble they tell me,

It’s all in your head.

Just be happier.

Take a deep breath, it will clear your mind.

Try not thinking about it so much.

You’re acting up over nothing.

You don’t need pills, you just need a breath of fresh air.



As I sit and tremble they tell me,

It’s all in your head.

Just be happier.

Take a deep breath, it will clear your mind.

Try not thinking about it so much.

You’re acting up over nothing.

You don’t need pills, you just need a breath of fresh air.

Other people have it way worse.



As I sit and tremble they tell me,

It’s all in your head.

Just be happier.

Take a deep breath, it will clear your mind.

Try not thinking about it so much.

You’re acting up over nothing.

You don’t need pills, you just need a breath of fresh air.

Other people have it way worse.

How can things be that bad, you were fine yesterday.



As I sit and tremble they tell me,

It’s all in your head.

Just be happier.

Take a deep breath, it will clear your mind.

Try not thinking about it so much.

You’re acting up over nothing.

You don’t need pills, you just need a breath of fresh air.

Other people have it way worse.

Things can’t be that bad, you were fine yesterday.

You are faking it.



I hear them tell me,

All manner of things,
As I sit and tremble.

Anxiety Is


Anxiety Is



Anxiety is…

The second hand of a clock,

Ticking faster and faster,

Until it is only a blur.

It is the minute hand,

Racing around the clock face,

As it counts the seconds.

It is the hour hand,

Counting the hours like minutes as they pass.



Anxiety is…

Staring at an empty page,

Begging it to fill in,

It is the irony of seeing the vivid pictures,

Perfectly formed in your own mind,

But the inability to find the right words,

And the fear you will write the wrong ones,

So instead you write nothing.



Anxiety is…

Hearing the same words,

One hundred times.

Then suddenly,

You no longer understand them.

It is the inability to comprehend,

Anything around you.

And the fear you will slip away,

Farther than you already have.



Anxiety is…

Begging someone, anyone,

For help.

It is admitting your deepest, darkest thoughts

To a doctor,

And being told,

You are in it for the drugs.



Anxiety is…

Coloring perfectly inside the lines,

But with a white crayon,

For fear if you use color,

It might bleed.




The Monster Under My Bed


The Monster Under My Bed



There is a monster under my bed

I hear him every night

He reaches up and takes my hand

And tells me to sleep tight!

Imagining


Imagining



Imagination is my ink

That lets me draw

Imaginary worlds in my mind

Standing on my island

As the ink fills in the world around me

Vast oceans and skies pour in

While I build up hills

And top them with castles

Made from stones I have traced from far off dreams

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Word Count Wednesday


Word Count Wednesday

I am doing one this week for consistency sake.



What am I working on?

Tomorrow after work I’m going to be doing feedback for my group. I’m looking forward to reading their stuff again.



Total Word Count?

Still the same as my entry from last night, haha.



How do I feel about the process?

It’s going okay, I wish I got less distracted when working on this stuff though.



What am I reading now?

Still reading the fairy tales, also looking at retellings of various fairy tales. For the most part they all seem to be YA romance though, which isn’t quite what I’m looking for.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Word Count Wednesday 3/8


Word Count Wednesday

I forgot. Again.



What am I working on?

Working on getting caught up on experiments! I have really great ideas I would love to share with everyone but I still need to actually sit down and put pen to paper.



Total Word Count?

I haaaaave…like three different documents I'm working on, does that count?



How do I feel about the process?

Doing okay, I would like to be working on more but as usual I had a lot of projects due around the same time and I get focused on one thing and forget the rest.



What am I reading now?

Reading both books for classes, also brushing up on fairy tales from around the world for an art project.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Word Count Wednesday 3/1

Word Count Wednesday

What am I working on?
A few different works this week, finishing up my short story, working on a couple of poems, and finding the best way to type up my map experiment. With the map, I have been having trouble getting started.

Total Word Count?
No idea! Probably not that much more than last week, I have been busy with all of my classes.

How do I feel about the process?
Still feeling good about writing, I go through waves of being able to just sit and write though. I'm going to try experimenting with locations more to see if being elsewhere helps.

What am I reading now?
Working on getting caught up in our Stephen King book.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Word Count Wednesday 2/22


Word Count Wednesday

What am I working on?
This weekend my goal is to work on a poem I started and getting the next sections of my short story typed up so I can start editing and hopefully share both on my blog by Monday (fingers crossed!). I have posted the portion of the story I turned in for public viewing. This is the first piece I have shared publicly ever, it’s a bit nerve wracking.

Total Word Count?
5ish pages

How do I feel about the process?
Feeling good, enjoying writing!

What am I reading now?
There is a book I want to pick up called Project Snow, it is supposed to be a reimagined Snow White with sci-fi mixed in.



Weird Dream Story

This is as far as I am in this story so far, I have a couple more sections to add. I wanted to get some sample of my writing up here for now. Hope you guys enjoy!


Sunset

It was just before sunset and, like most summer evenings, it was warm and the sky was a clear blue. My family and I sat on the patio and waited for the sun to set while the smell of smoke still clung to the air. We were having a barbeque at my mother’s house. We heard the sirens after coffee but before dessert.

They demanded we head to the nearest shelter immediately.

We were prepared. The news had been warning us for months this could happen. So, we had practiced. The plan was for me to grab the first aid kit, stuffed in a backpack full of necessities. My father would carry the larger bag of supplies, and my mother would be responsible for my little sister.

Now it was really happening. My mom’s screaming bled together with the wailing sirens. I snatched the backpack I was responsible for and raced out the door, my father at my side. We were ushered in to a neighbor’s car without, I realized, my mother and sister. They were left somewhere behind and as I grew hysterical, another neighbor outside the car shouted a promise that he would get them to the shelter too.

Numb, the car ride, became a blur of sounds and shapes rushing past me. I hardly noticed when we arrived at our destination. My dad and I got out of the car and were instantly swept up in a crowd of terrified, panicked people. They were pushing us into the school gym and I rode the current of that rushing, human river far stronger than I.

The gym of our local high school was our neighborhood’s designated emergency shelter point. I looked up at the old thing, my hopes bleak. This was to be our safe place. This building that was losing the battle to time was to keep us protected from whatever it was that waited outside its doors.

Someone in the crowd took me by the wrist and my heart leapt into my throat. I spun around with a shout, only to see my tear-stained father.

“We have to find [MC] and [MC],” he said. His hand, still on my wrist, began trembling. “We have to find them, [MC]!”

I scanned the crowd with a pit in my stomach. What if we couldn’t find them? But after a few minutes, my father announced that he spotted my mother in the crowd and tugged me over to her.

When we got to her, my father embraced my mother and kissed her. I looked for [Sister] and the pit in my stomach turned into nausea. My sister was missing and somehow my mother was unnervingly calm. It was as if none of this had shaken her; as if her screams to get out of the house were for the benefit of our neighbors and not her own panic-stricken frame of mind.

“[Mom], where is [Sister]?” my father asked. The distress in his voice was hardly contained.

Mom didn’t respond. It was like she couldn’t even hear him. Out of anger, or maybe annoyance, my father walked away to go find my sister on his own.

“Mom…where is she?” I quietly asked, unsure if she could hear me or not. My mother met my gaze, but not with eyes I knew. The loving, devoted mother, the one who spoiled me and my sister and would do anything for us, wasn’t standing in front of me. This woman looked like her, sounded the same, but her eyes… They were someone else’s eyes staring back at me, as if through a cold and unfamiliar mask.

This person wasn’t my mother. It wore her face but it was something else entirely.

Timidly, I asked again: “Did you bring her with you?”

“She wouldn’t have made it anyway.” Her cool response hit me like a slap in the face. I even took a step back, mind reeling, and hot tears began to fall from my eyes. Whoever this was had left my sister behind to face what was happening alone. My arrival was a blur but my exit was sharp and clear. I pushed through the people blocking the doorway, I fought the current of civilians trying to get inside, and I was the only one trying to get back out. I would face whatever was out there, alone if I had to. But I was going back for [Sister].

I was going to find my sister.

Orange

            The sun had set, and the dark exodus of terrified strangers continued to push into the building. Many yelled at me.

“No! What are you doing?”

“Where are you going?”

“Get out of my way!”

“Get back inside! You’ll die if you stay out here!”

I ignored them. I had no idea what was waiting for me but I had to get back home. I finally pushed my way through the edge of the crowd and darted toward a tree.

From my new position, I noticed men in strange suits were shepherding people into the building. I hadn’t noticed them before, when my father and I had arrived.

Once they had funneled the rest of the crowd inside, they shut and barred the double doors to the gym. Something metallic caught my eye. About half the men wore strange things on their backs. I squinted.

They were steel backpacks, each with a hose attached to a pole.

Everyone without a backpack retreated. Those with them used the poles to spit fire all around the building. Flames poured through the nozzles and splashed over the building. They were burning the building down with everyone inside.

Equal parts horrified and shocked, I turned and ran.

The heat from the fire and the screams from everyone inside clawed at my back and ears. Tears streamed thick down my face as I made my way home. The night was cool but my ears rang and my back burned with the guilt that I had escaped whatever was going on. I ran past people fleeing their homes and dodged more men in suits.

By the time I made it home, I was surprised my legs were still connected to my body. I stepped on the lawn and collapsed. My stomach ached and my eyes were red. I tried to catch my breath then forced myself to get back up, to keep moving. I had made it, I just needed to go inside.

            The door hung open on its hinges, but it looked anything but inviting. My heart pounded heavy in my chest and for all my drive, I stopped and stood on the front stoop. Someone had come through and destroyed the interior of my childhood home. Chairs were flipped, books and knickknacks were strewn across the ground, and the contents of drawers had been cast everywhere.

I swallowed my fear and walked inside. I peeked into the kitchen. The fridge hung open and pots and pans decorated the floor. I listened but heard nothing but my own labored breathing. Softly, I called my sister’s name. Initially there was no response, but then there came the faint sound of something moving inside the cabinet that once housed the pots.

I quietly made my way over and whispered her name again. The cabinet door creaked open and I caught a glimpse of my sister hiding inside. I opened it a little further, relieved to see her. I did my best to smile and then I reached for her, but as I did, I noticed there was something sitting next to her. I couldn’t make out much of its shape, but it was staring back at me with cold dead eyes.

Terrified, I ripped my sister from the cabinet and slammed the door shut. I took her into my arms and rushed out of the house as fast I could, back in to the unforgiving night.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Word Count Wednesday 2/15

Word Count Wednesday

By the time I start remembering to do this on time the semester will have ended.

What am I working on?
Still working on everything for class, my house assignment is due Wednesday so I am working on getting that finished up.

Total Word Count?
Still at between four and five pages worth of words, working on making the words work for the story. Quality over quantity for right now.

How do I feel about the process?
I feel okay, I am at a point where I am ready to work on something else so I am getting a little fidgety with the story I am working on. It is really easy to get the stuff written, it is hard to go back and edit to make everything flow correctly.

What am I reading now?
Still On Writing, going to start the other book for class soon!

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Word Count Wednesday 2/8

Word Count Wednesday Thursday

I'm going to be honest, I totally forgot to do this last night because I went to bed extremely early.

What am I working on?
Mostly my short story that is due for the House project. But I have started a poem and look forward to getting some work done on a story that is unrelated to class work.

Total Word Count?
Still not counting my words, but I have one poem started and about three and a half pages of a story written up. I do have a goal of finishing up my short story and the poem. I am also aiming to knock out the map experiment sometime soon, I have a clear idea of what I want to write.

How do I feel about the process?
I’m excited to be writing again! I have been having some trouble getting anything down on paper but I think I have gotten past my mental block (at least for now).

What am I reading now?
Still reading class related material and my boring textbook. Hopefully I will be receiving content from my fellow Glowdark members to read, which I am looking forward to! Everyone had such great ideas for what they were working on. I also have a personal friend who should be sending me some chapters from her book soon to preview!

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Word-Count Wednesday

I feel like I should put something up top but I am not totally sure what. So...hello.
Disclaimer: I enjoy not having to be super formal on here, so please do not expect my usual essay quality.

What am I working on?
Once again I am getting caught up on all of the experiments for creative writing, I have not finished officially writing anything, but I have a lot of solid ideas and have broken down at least two of the assignments in to the information I want/need so as soon as I have time I can write them up.

Total Word Count?
It's still a secret. But like, at least four notebook pages. And I use a college ruled notebook. It's a pretty big deal.

How do I feel about the process?
I enjoy the process of breaking the scenes I plan on writing about apart and looking at every aspect I can. I like writing about the environment they take place in, and exploring the six senses of the characters. Outlining what will happen has also helped me keep track of where things need to go. My least favorite part is sitting down and typing it up, so I do have to get over it and do that so I can share my works here.

What am I reading now?
I am still reading "On Writing" (do I underline it...?). I am up to a whopping page 30, please hold your applause.
I am also reading a very boring text book about Adobe Illustrator for another class and it has sadly made me not want to read anything else for enjoyment because it is an incredibly dry text.

Word-Count Wednesday achieved.

Word-Count Wednesday for 1/25

I missed the last Word Count Wednesday because I was out sick, so I will be posting two today.
One for last week one for this week.


What am I working on?
Working on the experiments we have been assigned in class and attempting to keep up with all of my homework.

Total Word Count?
It's a secret. Mostly because I don't have the actual number.

How do I feel about the process?
Okay, I am having a hard time staying inspired right now because I am very busy. I have also been reading everything I can about what is taking place with the big Cheeto president and sometimes it gets me pretty down as well as distracted from my own creative goals.

What am I reading now?
Stephen King’s “On Writing” for class.


I wanted to point out I have gotten the blog to work on my computer by using a different internet browser, in case anyone else is still having problems.